Hair Trim

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I love the feeling of healthy hair (on my head of course)!  There's no way for me to be 100% certain but it looks and feels that way and that's good enough for me.  It feels strong, which my hair never did when relaxed.
I did a serious trim today, a good 1/4-1/2 inch....


....which is alot considering I only have a few inches in length total.  I  was willing to sacrifice the length knowing when it does grow into a bigger 'fro, it will be a healthy one. There was more cut than this but I lost it to the floor.
After trimming, this was my regimen:
  • Washed with shikakai homemade hair shampoo
  • Deep conditioned with commercial deep conditioner mixed with a generous amount of honey.






Can Heat Permanently Damage Natural Hair?

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So I was browsing some of my fav natural sites today and came upon a pretty controversial topic in the natural hair community - hair straightening using heat.

You may have already been hearing some Naturals say straightening is bad for your hair. You may have also heard the varying angles and perspectives as to why. There is the social/ideological angle arguing that straightening hair, regardless of how you do it, is an act against the full acceptance of our natural hair and, to some, ourselves as a whole.  I personally don't have much of an opinion about this  idealogical view  other than to say; 'to each his own'.
What struck me had to do with the physical and impactful consequences on hair that has been straightened using heat.

My scouring of the online natural world turned up Naturals, left and right, recounting their horror stories of heat-straightening leaving them with permanent changes in hair texture (loosening of curls that have not reverted back to their natural state), more breakage than normal and generally frizzy, dry hair. And much like the toppling of dominos, these stories spread and has, in turn, lead other Naturals and newbies to swear off straightening for fear it will permanently damage their hair as well. 
Effectively the question that seems to puzzle us all is this: Can heat really permanently damage hair? Some say yes and insist they have firsthand experiences to show, while others, who have been straightening for years emphatically dispute this conclusion, remarking the consistent health of their hair even after years of heat application.
My answer to this question is based on my understanding of the chemistry behind the process of heat-straightening and it is: Yes and no! Frustrating answer, I know, but read on, you might learn something.

My goal is to shed some light on how heat works to straightens hair and thereby (hopefully) dispelling the fear that heat will permanently damage our precious curls.
So here goes (Remember I'm from a health/bio/nutrition background so expect to get the low-down - stay awake. lol):

The Chemistry of Hair
Hair is made up of a protein called alpha-keratin. This unique permutation of the keratin protein is what lends hair its resistance and pliability, both wet and dry. Like all proteins, alpha-keratin is identified by the amino acids (bio-molecules) that make it up and the way those molecules are arranged (called the structure of the protein).

You may or may not remember from your bio class that proteins are formed by the multiple foldings of their polypeptide chains (linked molecules). The multiple foldings of proteins are categorized as the following: Primary, secondary, tertiary and quaternary structures. Think of these structural classifications  as dimensions (though it's really not). Each structure reflects an added level of complexity in the folding of the protein molecule. The primary structure refers to the most basic, but core structure, while the tertiary and quaternary structures refers to the protein's final shape with all its complicated folds.
If you are still with me, I'm impressed. :)

We won't bother at all talking about the primary structure of proteins since it is  not generally affected by heat, pH or cosmetic products.  And we'll barely talk about the secondary structure as it is rarely, if at all, affected by heat. What we will talk about (the structure affected when we apply heat to our hair) is the tertiary structure of the hair protein.  This tertiary structure of the alpha-keratin hair protein is formed almost exclusively with folds held in place by hydrogen bonds.

It is important to note, though, that some hydrogen bonds also form the secondary structure of the hair protein.  This explains why heat may affect the innermost layers of a hair strand. Also, of note, is that the more impact there is to the more innermost layers (structure) of the hair strand the more irreversible the alteration/damage (of the keratin, this is called protein denaturation).

Knowing this, the implications of  too high heat for too long is that it can result in irreversible alteration to the structure of hair....but let's back up.

What Are Hydrogen Bonds?



Hydrogen bonds are responsible for the curl that exists in your hair, and, in the tertiary structure of the keratin protein, it looks something like this.
The H in the pic represents the hydrogen bonds that pull the hair fiber into its naturally curled/coiled state.


How Heat Affects Hair Strand
 When you apply heat to hair, assuming the heat level is not too high, the hydrogen bonds of the tertiary structure are affected first.  The keratin hair protein undergoes what is called denaturation, which simply refers to removal of the protein bonds. In this case, the hydrogen bonds making up the tertiary structure are removed, and thus the curl/coil pattern is loosened or removed.
Once hair is no longer exposed to the heat(hair cools), new hydrogen bonds may form on the hair's new  (straightened) shape.  This is what allows hair to maintain its straight texture for some time. However, hydrogen bonds are attracted to (and thus broken by) the slightly negative charge on the oxygen end of water molecules. This means water will break the hydrogen bonds formed after heat-straightening and explains why hair reverts back to its curly/coily state when wet.

Too Much Heat
 When high heat is applied to the hair strand for excessive periods of time and when hair is not allowed to 'normalize' after heat processing, the damage may become irreversible.  The general takeaway is that heat does not permanently damage hair.  But this statement assumes that hair is not subject to excessive heat  (as in enough to fry the hair) and not for more than a few seconds at a time.  Under normal heat conditions, the hydrogen bonds will reform when heat is removed and the hair will revert to its natural shape over time (and with water).
Too much heat damages hair by not only removing hydrogen bonds at the tertiary level but by removing the hydrogen bonds that make up the more inner  (secondary) structures of the hair protein.  The removal of a large number of bonds makes it difficult for the keratin protein to revert back to its natural shape.  And because the function/characteristics of a protein is tied to its shape, the characteristics inherent to the keratin hair protein are lost. For hair, this means loss of elasticity/pliability, loosened curl patterns, and less resistance to breakage.

Heat Control
If you do want to use heat to straighten your hair, apply these measures:
  • Choose the lowest setting that will straighten your hair. If the medium setting gives you results, don't switch to the high setting. The hair will either straighten or it won't. Higher settings just risks breaking more bonds in your hair, and risking irreversible effects.
  • Use a heat protectant product. These products are meant to offset the effects of heat on your hair by offering an added layer of protection. They should lessen the amount of heat that goes into the hair strand.
  • Be gentle with hair. Hair altered in any way is weaker than in its original state. Hair that has been straightened has had an extra layer of protection (the pliability of hydrogen bonds) removed and thus is inherently more brittle and less resistant to breakage. Be gentle during and after straightening.

'Normalize' Hair Between Straightening
 Healthy hair forms optimal levels of hydrogen and salt bonds.  Hydrogen bonds are affected by oxygen  (think water), nitrogen, and other highly electronegative molecules. This means that exposure to anything largely made up of these will reduce optimal hydrogen bonding in your hair.
Salt bonds are affected (including broken) by pH imbalances.  The less of these salt and hydrogen bonds making up your hair strand, the more susceptible your hair is to the damaging effects of heat when you do apply heat.  To return your hair to normal, between straightenings, treat your hair to deep treatments  (protein or moisturizing depending on your hair needs), and maintain proper moisture. Also keep handling of hair to a minimum as bonds, specifically salt bonds, can be broken simply by manipulating hair.

This post was about informing you so you can be confident that you are making good decisions for your hair while still having the freedom to just have fun with it. Hope this help shed some light on this much-debated topic.
For those of you Natural researchers still curious and want to know more, check out these sites:
http://www.austincc.edu/~emeyerth/tertiary.htm
http://www.keratin.com/aa/aa012.shtml
http://public.fotki.com/virtuousjewel/the-disturbing-trut/

Ready...Set...Big Chop! (Transitioners Read Up) An All-Inclusive Guide to Preparing For the Big Chop

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I am super-exhausted from a weekend away from home but I wanted to post some information right away for those transitioners about to start their natural hair journey.
At least for me, a large part of lessening my nervousness about doing the 'big chop' was being prepared (especially if you are only a few months into transitioning and will have only  a few inches of new growth when you big chop).
When I big chopped I didn't have anyone who broke it down for me the way I'm about to break it down for you.  I had to trial and error (and waste some money buying products I didn't really need) to figure out what I really needed for my hair.
Now I'm not going to be product-specific because everyone has their preference of products and the products you use will often boil down to your hair type and cost.  Some are willing to spend more than others. I am also not going to tell you that you have to get all-natural or organic products.  I will only give you a list of the ingredients that should send up a red flag to you if you find them in the products and that should indicate that this product is not the best for you.  I encourage all my other current naturals, veterans and newbies who may have already figured out a thing or two to chime in with comments so we can help our soon-to-be naturals get off to a good start. Here goes:

Key things to know before you start this natural journey and to keep in mind throughout your natural journey.  Never forget them and you are not likely to fall off the bandwagon:
  • Natural black (kinky-curly) hair, needs lots of moisture
  • Moisture is water; moisture is not oil
  • Natural black (kinky-curly) hair needs moisture all the time (I will explain how to achieve this so you are not constantly dousing your head with water).
  • 'Moisturizers' as in oils, butters, or creams (emulsified mixes of  oil and water) act on hair as sealants
  • Not all oils are created equal.
  • The type of oils you use depends on what you want your hair to look and feel like, and therefore depends on your hair type. I don't use a typing system so when I say hair type, I simply mean, the unique characteristics of your hair, (i.e very kinky and coarse, loosely curled and silky, thick, thin, etc.)
  • How much growth you retain will depend on two things only, aside from genetics,: The health of your scalp and your ability to retain the current hair you have - which leads me to the next point:
  • The health of the hair that grows out of your scalp will depend on two things: The health of your scalp and your general health. If your scalp shows signs of ill-health (flaky, dry, excessively oily) this will affect the quality of the hair that grows out of it (i.e. whether the hair that grows is strong or weak).
  • Just like the skin on your face, your scalp needs to maintain proper oil balance to be healthy. Hopefully, if you notice the skin on your face is excessively oily or dry, you look into it, the same should go for your scalp. It is usually partly genetic but the oil balance in your skin is optimized by your diet, your general health and the products you apply to it so PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SCALP always.
So lets start at the beginning:
There are two main activities you will do as frequently as needed to maintain moisture in your hair. They are:
  1. Moisturize
  2. Seal
Moisturize
Moisture is water and only water.
Discard the myth that oil is moisture. When you were a child and your Mom 'moisturized' your hair with some hair oil, she was really sealing in the natural moisture in your hair. Test this by applying oil to hair that feels very dry. Do you notice your hair now feels oily but still dry?
Don't bother applying oil to dry hair. You are just wasting the oil. The rule I follow is this: Always 'moisturize' (seal) hair before it is fully dry (as in damp or wet).

Seal
Oils, butters, and creams with their wonderful smells and slick feeling do nothing but seal moisture into hair shaft (temporarily - which is why you must do it regularly).

The very air  that surrounds us is constantly robbing, not just our hair, but our entire bodies, of moisture. Remember water in the air is maintained at an equilibrium. This drives evaporation and precipitation. But unless you are in very humid climates, water tends toward evaporation into the air  -  meaning the air pulls water from the surface of whatever it can: Rivers, trees, and, yes, you!

Oils and butters are purely for sealing purposes.
Creams with oil and water, attempt to do double-duty: imparting moisture and sealing. How effective these butters, oils and creams are at it is entirely trial and error and up to what feels right to you.

So the takeaway of everything I've told you so far is this: Your primary duty in taking care of your natural hair for as long as your hair is natural will always be to keep moisture in your hair by applying moisture (water) and sealing it in with oils, butters, creams etc.

By the way, when I say not oils are created equal I mean that some oils, due to the size of their molecular structure, can be absorbed to some degree into the hair shaft, thereby helping to reduce protein loss from the hair strand. These oils are: coconut oil, avocado oil and olive oil. I feel like this is another post since this one is already tres long.   :-)

Your Scalp
Many of us naturals, especially us newbies, become so enamored with our new 'curls and coils' and so fixated on getting perfect curl definition and discovering our textures that we forget the other half (a big part, right?) of the healthy hair puzzle - the scalp.
It's not an interesting part of us. It doesn't curl prettily like our new coils. It doesn't glow like the rest of our skin (I mean we can barely see it, especially if we have thick hair). So its easy to forget that this much-hidden stretch of skin, makes or breaks (literally) our hair. It is the manager behind the scenes, while we are so focused  and enamored with the celebrity on the screen, making it easy to forget that the celebrity that is our hair, does not stand a chance without a happy scalp.
The scalp is no different than the rest of your skin. In fact, the behavior of the skin on your face may indicate what is going on with your scalp. Do you tend to have oily skin? Dry skin? These are clues to pay special attention to your scalp. What your scalp needs most is balance (just like the rest of your skin). It does its magic by producing sebum (in addition to producing hair) to nourish the hair on our heads. Too much sebum, just like on our faces, clogs pores and may inhibit your natural rate of growth. Too little leaves the hair that grows out of your scalp, dry, and perhaps even weak and brittle.

Maintaining A Balanced Scalp

Three things come into play here:
  1. The products you apply to your scalp
  2. How clean your scalp is
  3. Hydration moisture
Does Your Scalp Love Your Products As Much As You Do?
This is where it is important to choose the right products. And this is where I will list the ingredients to avoid when looking for the right products.  Products with certain ingredients will either clog the pores/follicles in your scalp, or disrupt its natural oil balance by causing your scalp to produce too little or too much sebum in response.
When looking for the right hair products, I'm not going to tell you they have to be 'all-natural.' I go this route because its a safe bet that if the product is 'all-natural' (and of itself this is a vague term) it is less likely to have the disrupting ingredients I am about to list.

Ingredients to Avoid (ingredients with asteriks by them mean use in moderation):
-Petroleum-based ingredients in general but specifically: Mineral Oil.
Note: Propylene glycol is also petroleum-based (see previous post about) but scientific studies have not proven that it harms your scalp or hair. There is the risk it may disrupt the natural oil balance in your scalp because it does act as a humectant. Here is a tip: whenever you encounter an ingredient you know to be petroleum-based, do some research on the ingredient to discover if it has proven to be harmful or disruptive when applied on or in the body. Be informed.

-Cones (silicone, dimethicone anything ending in cone etc)*

How Clean Is Your Scalp?
I inspect my scalp several times a week. I gently scratch the surface with my nail. If I see dead cells, or flakes under my nail or if my scalp looks greyish or dull, I know it needs a wash and a treatment. Wash your scalp regularly (shampoo not necessary). And when you wash it, gently scrub it to remove dead cells that clog follicles. Massage it (preferably with oils) to stimulate blood circulation and to seal moisture unto it.

Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate
I specifically use the term 'hydration' here to differentiate between this moisture and the one we talked about above. Hydration refers to the moisture balance inside your body. If you are dehydrated, your moisture balance is off and it will affect your scalp. When we are dehydrated, our hair, skin and nails are the first of our body parts to be deprived of what hydration levels we do have in our body (the body considers vital organs to be a much bigger priority than your skin and nails when it comes to needing water). So a good indicator of how hydrated you are is how dry your scalp is and whether your nails and hair are brittle (from continuous dehydration). Keep your body hydrated and your scalp benefits as well.

Starter Products
Now the part I know you transitioners have been waiting for.
Below is a list of all the products that should start you off on the right foot as a new natural:

1. Moisturizing Deep Conditioner
 Notice the emphasis on moisturizing. Remember my post about knowing the different types of conditioners? It may help to refer back to it here.
Many new naturals complain of excessively dry-feeling hair when they first 'big chop.' There may be several reasons for that including how you took care of your new growth during the transition period but here is a tip to overcome this temporary but frustrating stage: Deep condition very frequently.
I won't tell you how frequently - its up to you. Just listen to your hair and when it feels dry, deep condition. I am not a fan of baggying (the term for applying deep conditioner to your hair, putting on a heat cap (baggy) and sleeping with it overnight) but if I ever recommend it, it would be during the first few weeks after the big chop (if hair feels dry).

2. Co-Wash Conditioner
You know how when you were relaxed you shampoo-ed at least once a week with any old shampoo? Well, cut it out!
Here are two invaluable tips, I learned along the way:
  • Give up on shampoo (almost). Yes give it up. Curly heads do not need to shampoo often as it strips the hair of much-needed moisture. Moisture is the life of your curls. Strip moisture and you will end up with dry, frizzy hair (goodbye defined curls). Shampooing once a month (for those who tend toward dry scalp) or once every two weeks (for oily scalps) is just fine.

  • Become a conditioner-wash guru. Conditioner-wash (also called co-wash) is the process of using only a conditioner to wash your hair (use it like you would a shampoo -  scrub and massage your scalp and rinse). One of the fun things about having a teeny weeny new afro (twa) is you can do what is called 'wash-n-go's' pretty much every day. But not with shampoo! Use only a conditioner when you 'wash-n-go' and your hair will love it! And generally I don't recommend using your deep conditioner for your co-washes, (especially if you co-wash often) as this will cause buildup.
To find the perfect co-wash conditioner:
Choose a conditioner mild enough for daily use. Do not choose a clarifying conditioner unless you have oily scalp and hair (and most of us naturals do not tend toward oily hair). Daily use of clarifying conditioners, even mild ones, will add to hair dryness. Instead look for a daily use conditioner that says: 'moisturizing.'

3. Sealants (Oils, Butters, Creams)
Make sure you have at least one good sealant that works for your hair type. You may have to trial and error to find the ones that work for you but some good, popular ones are:
Castor oil (my personal favorite)
Shea Butter
Olive Oil
Coconut Oil
If you prefer creams to oils and butters, try ones by these natural-hair focused vendors: (Qhemet Biologics, Oyin).

*My natural sisters, help me out here. What are your fav natural-hair focused vendors out there?*

Gel
Not a necessity by any means but I know part of the eagerness to go natural is to see and rock your natural curls.  And gel is probably the one product that will get you there.  My one caution for you is that gels are drying so use in moderation and always protect your hair before applying gel, either with a sealant or a leave-in conditioner.
You may have to trial and error with different brands to find one that fits your hair type, don't get frustrated. And a tip: Expensive gels do not guarantee better results. Just avoid products with questionable ingredients (again, be informed).

I also recommend stocking up on the following in preparation for your big chop:

Detangling Comb
A wide-toothed comb is a must for detangling. Make sure your comb is free of sharp knicks or edges which can snag on (and possibly tear) hair during detangling. You want to only detangle your hair when it is saturated with a product that provides some slippage for easy comb gliding. Many naturals (myself included) detangle only in the shower and only when hair is saturated with conditioner (which provides slip).  If you insist on detangling dry hair, Qhemet Biologics (and I'm sure there are others) sells a detangling cream some naturals rave about (I haven't tried it so I can't vouch for it personally).
Detangle only as often as necessary. This does not mean detangling once a month unless you are going for free-form dreads!
Remember this, the longer you take between your detangling sessions, the more knots you will have to fight when you do and therefore the more risk of breakage during detangling. I also think, however, that too much detangling (every day, for example) is unnecessary and increases hair breakage.

Water bottle
Water spritzes help restore moisture to hair on dry days when you are not close enough to home to just jump in the shower. Add a bit of glycerin (and I do mean a bit! Think one tablespoonful to a cup of water) to keep those curls looking moist even longer (glycerin acts as a humectant). Do not apply glycerin undiluted! It is a recipe for dry, miserable hair.

Satin scarf
Sleep with your hair covered to prevent knotting and to help retain moisture.

A list of your fav natural hair youtuber links - Watching the vids of natural hair veterans who've been doing it for years and making it work - with great hair to show for it - will be a great pick-me-up on those days when you are wondering why you ever cut your hair or reaching for that relaxer. Find a natural youtuber whose hair type is similar to yours. I may do another post just to list my top favs.

The main thing is to listen to your hair and respond to its needs. Don't get stuck on a regimen. If you are trying a range of products and find your hair is not happy (is dry, brittle, etc) try to find out which product is causing the undesired reaction and replace it with a better alternative. Don't fall in love with your regimen.

Propylene Glycol In My Conditioner??

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One of my favorite deep conditioners arrived in the mail yesterday.


I've raved about this conditioner in several posts on this blog mostly because of how it helped care for my relaxed hair.  I have always been discriminating about what I put on and in my body but since going natural, I've become even more diligent about reading ingredients lists of the products I put into my hair.

I don't want to use any product that will inhibit my hair's ability to do what it is inclined to do.  So even having a history with the phytokarite deep conditioner (I felt good enough about it to buy it in bulk because I got a really good price), did not stop me from looking over the ingredients again.

Nothing on the list made me uneasy....until I came upon it:

Propylene Glycol

The name was looking at me like it was daring me to send the product back. Or daring me to write a letter to phyto and ask them what the hell is up.
I have seen propylene glycol in many products, but I was disappointed to find it here.  The root of my disappointment is not that propylene glycol is harmful (ethylene glycol its distant cousin, is very harmful but propylene glycol has not been proven to be), but that for a brand that touts a natural approach to making its products and for the retail cost,  they could not have chosen a plant-derived alternative to a petroleum-based product. 
Propylene glycol is a petroleum-based product that serves various purposes in cosmetics including as a humectant and emulsifier.  
I know the rationale behind  using propylene glycol comes down to cost.  Phyto gets to continue charging what they do for their products but increase their margins by switching to cheaper ingredients, and guess what, Curlies?  Phyto isn't the only one doing it!  The economic downturn has driven many businesses to make tough decisions with their products: Often the options are either to increase margins by increasing  the cost to consumers or by switching to cheaper ingredients.  And while the idealist is inclined to raise a fist and argue about how wrong this is, the reality is businesses have to make money, and offset rising costs affecting their bottomline (think of the impact to businesses of rising fuel costs).
So if we're being realists about the likelihood of ingredients in our favorite products changing, we also have to be rational and ask ourselves:  Does the change mean this product will do harm to my hair or provide a less desirable result than I am used to?
Faced with this new ingredient discovery, I did ask myself this question.
Finding propylene glycol in my 'plant-based' deep conditioner, make me balk because I am not a fan of propylene glycol in my face products. Why?  I tend to have oily skin and found over time that when I used products with this ingredient, my face would be oilier than ever (and for me, more oil  =  more breakouts).
Despite a lack of scientific support for this observation, I switched to products without any petroleum-based ingredients, and found my skin was better able to maintain it's oil balance.  Only time will tell the effects of a product with propylene glycol on my hair and scalp (and of course I will keep you updated) but I will tell you this:  So far, there has been absolutely no scientific basis behind the propaganda that propylene glycol is harmful when used cosmetically despite what you will read on the internet (and there is alot).

One conspiracy theorist claims it denatures skin proteins and causes liver and kidney abnormalities. Please know, scientific studies have been done extensively on propylene glycol (read about propylene glycol and one such study HERE) and none have concluded any of the claims listed above.  Having done my research, I feel safe using a product with propylene glycol on my hair.
But the key takeaway here: Always do your research. Don't blindly use products on or in you without knowing where they come from.  They may not show harm the first or first ten times you use them but the cumulative effect of anything damaging will show itself over time, even if that's decades later.  We have to be informed about what society offers us or else how can we ensure they maintain quality in the goods they make available to us?  Companies are in business to make money. We, as consumers need to make sure they get only as much as they deserve and only after we get as much as we deserve. 


What I've Been Up To And Upcoming Plans for My Hair

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I'm planning to kick off June with a henna gloss treatment (henna plus my deep conditioner, and a few other ingredients for shine). For this henna treatment I will soak overnight but leave on for no more than one hour (my focus will be not so much on getting color but shine).  I will of course post the results and more details afterward.
I also need to make another batch of shikakai tea for my hair cleansing as I am running out.  I will do that early June and probably make more than last time (a full bottle) since I know the recipe works well for my hair.

Yesterday I did a deep conditioning treatment.  I wish I had pictures but I didn't think of that.  I know I need to so I can share results with you guys. A new camera would help me alot because I've been using my blackberry to take pics and that's not exciting.  I also want to add videos but videos from my phone turn out weird. I promise though, more result pics to come.

Anyway, it was a brahmi tea strengthening treatment.  I applied my brahmi tea (recipe found here) directly to co-washed and towel-dried hair.  The tea was not mixed into a bentonite paste so it was runny (I didn't want clarifying because I had poo-ed with my shikakai tea about 4 days before).  I applied in the shower and  used a shower cap to prevent dripping.  I left the treatment in for about 30 minutes and then rinsed out. If you do this and your hair isn't slippery-feeling after, just run a commercial-brand conditioner through your hair and wash out immediately.  My hair and scalp were happy.  I then applied my 'super-moisturizer' mix and let dry.
 I don't do an herbal cleansing and conditioning treatment at the same time becauseI think  of it as herbal overdose for my hair.  So generally, when I do an herbal hair cleansing, I just use a commercial-brand conditioner after and then a few days later (usually 4 days or more) before my next poo, I co-wash with my commercial-brand co-wash conditioner and apply my homemade herbal conditioner.  I have no reason to think that an herbal hair cleanse with an herbal homemade conditioner will have any negative effects on my hair I just think my current regimen is a balanced approach to caring for my hair. 

That's all folks!

Have You Run Into The Purists?

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Have you run into 'the natural purists' yet?

I call them that because they believe you should 'accept' your hair as it is.  And what they mean by this is that you should do nothing to alter or enhance in any way.  They are against straightening no matter how its done and whether it damages or not.  They tell you that if you have type 4 hair that does not naturally shine, that you should just 'accept' it that way and not try to use any product to get the shine you want.
They tell you that you are too 'reliant' on products.  To me, they make natural hair feel like a religion and that I'm violating some holy sanctity if I choose to enhance what my hair naturally does. And I wonder if they never enhance anything about themselves.  Do they never enhance their eyes with eyeliner, or their lips with lipstick?
I have nothing against natural sisters straightening their hair, and I know some of you feel this way too.  As long as the mentality is not that straight hair is superior to your natural texture and you are not damaging what God has given you, why not switch it up?  Isn't this what makes life interesting and fun?  Being able to try to new things, even a different persona for awhile?
Personally, I  love to enhance what God blessed me with.  Does it mean I'm ashamed of it as it is?  No, it means I'm proud of it so I play with it.  I find freedom in it.
I like my eyes, I play them up with eyeliner and sometimes I leave them as is because I know they speak volumes on their own.  I like my height but I still wear heels once in awhile.
I don't know about you but if I ever meet a 'purist' preaching to me about how wrong it is to do this and that to my own hair, I will have to tell them (ever so politely) to please mind their own follicle.

I Am Featured on Naturelle-Chic!

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The divalicious Miss Zannëta has featured me on her blog.
I felt so honored to to be asked!

http://naturelle-chic.blogspot.com/2010/05/meet-her-dm-rocks-twa.html

Cheapie Tip of the Month (For The Thrifty Natural)

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Don't pay the usual retail price for the products you love. When you find a product you love, comparison shop online (and remember to google for discounts).

Sites like Sephora  (and even the store) will sell you a product at 'the suggested retail price.' But lesser-known sites (there's one called beautydeals.net) can sometimes offer you a better deal as they are often more eager to move inventory even if it's at a discount and will may even tack on additional discounts  through online coupons.  This is how I bought many of my pricier commercial hair products.

You may be thinking: 'But the shipping...!'
But without realizing it, sometimes we end up paying more in the store just to avoid shipping costs.

Here's what to do: Add the shipping in from the get-go, as though it were a part of the cost, then do the math. You will often find that even with shipping, it works out cheaper.

I have gotten pretty savvy at it, and I will actually search around different marketplace or lesser-known sites and divide the cost each vendor is selling the product at, by the number of ounces I get in total. This way I can tell which one will give me the lowest cost per ounce. I have found that sites like Amazon.com and, I'm sure, ebay will sell multiple containers for a single price, like two for one etc.

Be cautious though.
If you are getting your product from a lesser-known site (that you're not familiar with), do your research. This means looking at the About Us page and making sure they are legit; and googling reviews on their web store. If they have been in business for awhile they should have reviews.
Or, if you're shaky about online shopping in general, go through a marketplace site like Amazon or eBay. Amazon is great because if they don't follow through, you can demand a refund.

My Summer 2010 Wishlist

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This just may be my next hair accessory project! I already have the fabric in mind too.


What do y'all think?


On another note, I'm  jonesing for at least some things from this list this summer:

  • A pair of white skinny jeans, even better if they have zippers at the ankle 

  • A flattering hat (I have yet to find one that looks good on a twa)

  • Some bright MAC eye colors - the creamy ones that come in blue and yellow! I would have so much fun with that.

  • A camera I can slip in my pocket  and whip out during that Maxwell concert or while I'm walking around the gardens in Versailles (I'm so excited about my vacay). I've been trying to find one that's small, lightweight but has amazing zoom and take great quality pics.  The Panasonic Lumix is looking good right now.

  • A few patterned tops.  I'm picturing red polka dots on white. With white jeans! Can we say Fierce?! Or a short floral dress.

  • Pair of sexy summer heeled sandals (with my mini dress I will be so ready for Maxwell!)
Eye Candy, anyone?

 

How summery-cute is this top?



 
Doesn't this look so I'm-ready-for-my-vacation? Picture it with some gladiator sandals and a cute little 'fro of course. Net-a-porter has this cool dress for a beyond-my-budget price but I'm hoping I can find a cheaper version somewhere!





I've been eyeing these harem pants all spring. They're silk and look super-comfy. I was just never comfortable with how some harem pants tend to look from behind (I know you know what I'm talking about) but this one looks pretty well-made, it has me wondering if I could pull it off. With a white tank and some cool jewelry? What do y'all think? 

By the way, what are you all jonesing for this summer?


Success!

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Making My Own Hair Accessories??

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Curlies!
....I've decided - I'm going to make my own hair accessories! Yay me! *dancing around the room.*

You may be asking what financial tragedy has driven me to make such an imminently disastrous decision?
 But I think this newfound thrifty side of me is actually a good thing. It's forcing me to be more responsible and creative and make my dollars go farther.

Anyway, here are my fabrics (I went to JoAnns today).






I got each napkin-sized fabric for just $1.99 each. Then after I left I thought, damn I could've probably found some random pieces of cloth around my house (cut me some slack, I'm a work in progress).
Anyway, I'm excited about my choice of fabric colors for this reason:



Uh huh you guessed it. They will match my summer nail colors *giggles.*

This mini-project all started with wanting some cute hair accessories for summer. I found some cute ones at urbanoutfitters but was personally offended (lol) to find they were $24. I mean what are they trying to do? Fast track me to the poorhouse?

A fellow natural suggested I make my own and I thought, 'why didn't I think of that?' I mean I sew. (I briefly went to school for fashion design - yes I mean briefly). I sewed my own graduation day dress, my own winter coat....out of felt - don't laugh, (it was off of a Calvin Klein design and I thought I looked too cute, now one could tell me nothing).

Anyway a youtuber and fellow natural responded by posting a tutorial on making hair flowers out of fabric. I'd give her props but I don't know her name. If she's reading this, she knows who she is.
I'm not generally a flowers or bows person but, the hair flowers thing looks so good on other twa naturals, I thought, why not try it?
I will post pictures if I am successful and if it all goes very wrong?... well I'll probably blog about it too - just for laughs.

Wish me luck....

Misadventures of a Natural Diva: The Search For The Perfect Co-Wash Companion

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So I think I told you my co-wash conditioner, Everyday Shea, which I had picked up just on random at Whole Foods, is running low. The bottle is about $10 but you get a good amount (32 fl oz's to be exact).

Despite this, the thrift in me set out on a quest to find the perfect replacement for a little less dough. My plan was to start with the names I've heard thrown around natural blog sites and youtube like: Suave Naturals or Suave Humectant (Suave in general), Aussie Moist, Herbal Essence Totally Twisted, Tresemme Curl Moisture, Creme of Nature and quite a few others.

I went to Wal-Mart today...... But you know what? before I go any further, let me tell you what I really like about the Everyday Shea conditioner, that I was looking for, emulated in another, hopefully cheaper brand:

  • Everyday Shea has only 12 ingredients, and I'm including the last ones on the list, that we usually don't pay attention to, like the citric acids and potassium sorbates which usually come last (or should) in a good conditioner (they are preservatives). In a world where the average salon-quality conditioner boasts some 15-20 ingredients, most of which sound like farsi to me when I try to pronounce them, this was somewhat comforting.

  • It's marketed as gentle enough for everyday use.  This is important to me because I co-wash at least every couple days and I don't want a conditioner that has so many claims ('heat control' 'damage control' etc.) that it adds stuff to my hair I don't want or need.  This usually comes in the form of buildup.  I also didn't want a clarifying conditioner which is what many of the daily use conditioners I found at Wal-Mart, touted.  I get that caucasian hair may tend toward oiliness and so a daily clarifying conditioner may be just the trick but my hair, and most naturals tend toward dryness. I want a conditioner that 'won't add no'n, won't take no'n' (except dirt and dead skin).

  • Shea leaf extract and shea butter are the first two ingredients - before cetyl alcohol (which is not bad by the way but alot of more commercial brands rely heavily on it). You will often notice cetyl alcohol is the third, if not the second ingredient on most conditioner ingredients lists.

So I knew my standards were high but I was full of hope on my little adventure.  I first looked at the Suave Naturals. And all this time I thought the word 'Naturals' in Suave Naturals referred to it's target consumer demographic - as in black Naturals (I mean we are an up-and-coming force, to be reckoned with when it comes to appealing to our hair needs).  I actually thought Suave Naturals offered special ingredients for the unique needs of natural black hair. I mean the way some naturals have gone on about it - calling it out from other Suave products like the word 'Natural'  is significant *rolling eyes.*

Anyway, I should have known better.  The word 'Natural' in Suave Naturals just refers to the fact that is has a 'natural' scent, usually a fruit or a flower scent.  That's it.  It doesn't even necessarily mean there are no synthetic fragrances used to get that scent (which by the way wouldn't be bad in of itself, it would just be  misleading since synthetic is not natural).
Once I learned this, I thought, ok Suave Naturals isn't specially targeted to the black naturals demographic  so I might as well get anything with good ingredients.
The problem wasn't finding good ingredients. It was finding ingredients that even made it possible to determine what the heck it is (and as a former health major who took organic and biochemistry and amazingly remember alot this was fairly unusual for me).  I know well enough, for example, that ingredients ending in -ol, are alcohols, and those ending in -al are aldehydes etc.

Already discouraged, I sauntered over to the Tresemme Curl Moisture, Aussie Moist, and Herbal Essence Totally Twisted product shelves and, I think, came closest to buying the Totally Twisted.
I couldn't pronounce most of the ingredients, had no idea what they were, and like the others, there were about 20 of them each but it seemed most dedicated to curly hair issues.  Then I saw Organix Coconut Milk Conditioner. I read the ingredients list, and was sold.  I mean the relief at seeing some familiar ingredients like coconut oil included, even if they were some of the last on the list.
I picked up the bottle (about 20 fl oz) before a second look at the cost (around $10) stopped me.  If it's the same cost as the Everyday Shea (with less ounces), why bother?  Why don't I just buy the product I know?

 Needless to say, I left Wal-Mart, empty-handed. I will continue my search for a great, cheaper alternative to Everyday Shea, but I'm realizing the cost really isn't that bad for the amount you get at least compared to Organix.  For now, I'll make my way back to Whole Foods for my trusty co-wash companion....and maybe apologize to her for trying to step out.  :)

Product Review: DevaCurl Heaven In Hair Deep Conditioner

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Hello, Curlies
Happy Saturday! It is hot and humid where I am, but I'm used to it. The heat, though, has made me even more lazy than ever  (I just woke up from a midday nap so I'm feeling extra relaxed).
So, as my Kerastase Oleo-Curl Intense deep conditioner is running out, I thought to branch out and look for a comparable alternative at a lower price.  I am on a tight budget these days and just cannot make my dollars stretch as far as another bottle of what has so far been my favorite conditioner.  If only I could find a sale - like 75% off (like that's gonna happen, right? L'Oreal, are you out there?  Can you hook me up?).

Until this magic sale happens, I decided to make DevaCurl's Heaven In Hair my new deep moisturing conditioner staple. 


I heard rave reviews about it from other naturals and I liked that, like my other fav deep conditioners (Phytokarite is one of them) it touts these great oils and butter, such as murumuru, among its list of ingredients.

I had planned to mix it with my existing deep conditioner, but after purchasing it, the first thing I notice is that it has a super-strong smell - that I don't like.  I don't know what it smells like - something like overly strong, old-time perfume.  It claims to have jasmine flower (which could be the reason for the strong smell?).Whatever makes it smell so strong, that turned me off.
I absolutely love, love, love the smell of the Kerastase Oleo-Curl so I was concerned mixing the two like I planned would have resulted in an overall but equally unappealing smell. I kept them separate.  After poo-ing my hair this Friday with my shikakai cleanser, I applied the Heaven In Hair to towel-dried hair.  I was hoping for a slippery, kind of silky feeling I get when I apply the Kerastase - but this didn't happen.  Thus I didn't get much help from it as a detangler, and the fact that I have been detangling after my shikakai poo while I have in a deep conditioner, means I needed detangling help from it.
To its credit, it probably didn't have that slippery feeling because it does not include silicones (which I have heard from other naturals is bad for our hair though the only reason I have gathered is that using products that have silicones will give a false sense that the hair is healthy when its not, because of the smoothness and shine silicones impart).  I think if you are paying close attention to your hair, as in inspecting it sans product, silicones shouldn't delude you. The only other thing I can think is using products with silicones excessively can be drying - not so much because silicones are drying, and they may be, I don't know, but because they make the hair feel strong and shiny, temporarily, so it's tempting to think, the hair has enough moisture and this is dangerous because silicones do not impart moisture.
The Kerastase, I think, contains some silicones (I think), which may have to do with the very slippery feeling I get when I work it through.

All in all, I don't hate the Heaven In Hair.  I  certainly plan to continue using it until it's done.  What I will do is use it to stretch my daily conditioners, not as a deep conditioner.  My plan is to mix it with my co-wash conditioner, hopefully to impart some of the great benefits of things like cupuacu and murumuru butters among other great ingredients - if only it smelled better.  If you don't mind strong smells, Heaven In Hair will probably work just fine for you.  My recommendation, though, is to smell it before you buy it and don' try to use it as a detangling conditioner.

On another note, I am almost out of my daily conditioner, my Everyday Shea (sad sigh).  I am on a tight budget so I was considering getting a cheaper conditioner like a Suave or something....in my next post I'll tell you about my little adventure to find another co-wash conditioner.
I hope you found my Heaven In Hair review helpful.
Later

I Am Officially IN LOVE....

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...with my hair!




 

At what point in your natural journey did you, Curlies, really begin to fall in love with or be proud of your hair?

Does It Seem to Offend or Bother People If Your Curls Aren't 'Forever Poppin'?

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Has anyone else had this experience of hearing others 'suggesting' that they put some 'curls' in their natural?

I have gotten the impression that some naturals cannot leave the house without 'curls poppin' on their heads.  And lately I got a comment suggesting that I 'put some curls' in my twa. 
It's like people - surprisingly most of whom are other naturals, are bothered or offended by those naturals not choosing to make 'forever poppin curls' their everyday look. They feel inclined to point out tips for getting our curls to 'pop' like somehow the state of hair which does not have 'poppin' curls is compromised, broken or unhealthy.  And often, they make these suggestions with the most innocent expectation that we should react with disbelief or shame once they point it out, the way we would tell someone with weave that their tracks are showing and expect them to run for cover.  (Why does this visual make me giggle?)

By the way and to my naturals out there, 'poppin curls' is not an indication of anything but what it is.  Healthy hair comes in all forms and as long as you have inspected your strands and scalp and determined your hair is healthy,  turn a blind eye to (or like me, just roll your eyes and suck your teeth at) the ignorance.

Anyway, my real reason for bringing this observation to you, Curlies, is that it has caused me to wonder if we, naturals, managed to escape the relaxer box only to put ourselves into the silky curls box.

Many naturals I have encountered talk about the 'liberating' experience of no longer being a slave to relaxers and weaves and that for them the natural journey is one of 'self-acceptance.'  Yet I have observed that, for some of these same naturals, appearing in public when every strand of hair is not in place (dutifuly moistened, and perfectly curled) is a sacrilege to all that is pure and holy about being natural.
I could be afraid to leave the house unless each curl glistened with perfect concentric determination but guess what?  I don't choose to.  And for no other reason than because I don't care to.  I didn't go through the process of chopping off my relaxed hair and ending my reliance on relaxers, where I didn't want to leave the house until every strand lay smooth, silky and shiny, only to come to another prison.
I love my hair just the way it is and if it bothers others or offends someone that I am ok going about with my head of hair as its naturally inclined to be, then I can only be sympathetic to their sadly narrow-minded view of things.

I think its kind of whack that we should take ourselves out of one box to put ourselves into another and this is what affirms for me that it IS just hair.  Because it's not about the hair.  It's never really about the hair.  Its about the refusal to widen our spectrum of what is beautiful.  It is about our fear of not being good enough, cute enough, pretty enough according to others.

We are still eating all that society throws on the ground at us, when it lets us know the singular aesthetic is the eurocentric idea of beauty.  We say we are not but our goal is always to look as close to that as possible and in the natural world, how closer can we get that defined, silky-looking curls?  "If only I could get my curls bigger and more defined?"  "Why don't my curls pop?"  "I wish I were a type 3 like you, your texture is so pretty."

Don't you think its old and sad and tired that we can't let go; can't stop eating the poison even when we pretend we are 'liberated' from it?
Anyway, to answer the question of the person who asked why I don't get some curls in my hair:  Because I think I look quite perfect with it just the way it is.  Thanks.

Sisterly Hair and Randomness

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My sister...



.....(how cute is that first pic) is transitioning.

If she makes it to the natural side, I will definitely be sharing interviews from her of her experience.

My other sister...

 is vacillating (ooh I finally get to use this word.  I learnt it in 10th grade and its been gathering dust in the back of my mind since) about going natural.  If she ever does go for it, I'll share interviews from her too.

My baby sister whom I won't embarrass by putting up little girl pics (they're the only ones I have of her and she's officially a teen now), has been natural all her life and as she told me, will 'never' relax her hair.  I rarely say never (or believe others when they say it for that matter).  But I'm proud of her.

Oh by the way, there is a story behind this last pic.  I don't know if you can tell but it's actually in a bathroom.  Generally we don't make a habit of taking pics in bathrooms but we were seriously toasted.  Here is the story:  We were out for her birthday, ordered a few drinks and if you are familiar with how bartenders at jamaican clubs mix drinks, you already know, they were seriously strong drinks.
Usually we know our limit but, not much was going on, we were somewhat bored ( it was early, as in midnight, and again, if you  know anything about jamaican clubs you know they don't jump off until like 3am).
The third excuse for our state?  Someone else was paying for our drinks.  And while we were taking them, we eventually had to hide from this kind-person-turned-mild-stalker, in the bathroom.  Thus our location. And of course, our states of mind didn't make way for the realization that the result would be some tacky-ass pictures with what is clearly bathroom-wall behind us.  We did have a good time though....in the bathroom, taking pics  (trust me, the pics get sillier...I clearly remember one with us toasting each other....) So there.

Ayurvedic Twist on Bentonite Treatment - For Clarifying and Strengthening

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So for those of you who follow my posts, you will remember my bentonite treatment (here).  Well to kick off my ayurvedic series (actually my post on the cleansing with shikakai was the first post in this series), I am going to share something new.  Instead of the traditional recipe of mixing bentonite with a mildly acidic liquid like a citrus juice, apple cider vinegar, I am sharing my bentonite mix made with an herbal tea.

A lot of people use a regular herbal tea like chamomile - and I have used jasmine - to mix the bentonite (you can get creative with it).   But, as a part of incorporating time-tested ayurvedic herbs used for generations to care for hair, I mixed my bentonite powder with brahmi tea.  Brahmi is known to strengthen and condition hair. And I know what you're asking next:  'What do you mean by strengthening? What does brahmi actually do?'

Brahmi is the name of two types of herbs - which, I know, makes it confusing.  The brahmi I refer to here is also called gotu kola.  When not taken internally for memory-enhancing effects, it is primarily used as a treatment for hair loss and is known to stimulate hair growth.   It works as a 'strengthener' by smoothing and temporarily protecting the hair cuticle.  The effect is less tangling and theoretically hair that's less prone to breakage.  Because these results are of course temporary the reviews are that if you consistently use brahmi you will notice less breakage over time.
So between the clarifying benefits of the bentonite and the strengthening benefits of the brahmi, I get a clarifying and strengthening treatment in one!
Here goes:

Bentonite Treatment with Brahmi Tea

Ingredients:

2 cups water

1/4 cup brahmi powder

1 tspn ginseng powder

1 tspn aloe powder

1/2 tspn honey

1/2 cup bentonite clay powder

3 tspns marshmallow root powder (finely ground to prevent bits getting stuck in hair)

Instructions
(The recipe is similar to making the shikakai tea).
Bring water to a boil.  Once boiling, add brahmi powder, mix in and reduce heat to simmer.  Let simmer 5-10 minutes.  Bring mixture to boil again and once boiling, add ginseng  powder, reduce heat again and let simmer 2-3 minutes.  Bring mixture to boil a third time and as soon as mixture has begun to boil, add aloe powder.  Shut off heat.  Mix well and leave mixture covered for at least 4 hours or overnight.

Warning: My experience with aloe powder is that it is bitter and somewhat camphorous when boiling. So after I add aloe, I cover the pot, make sure my stove fan is on and remove mixture from heat right away. Expect a bitter smell in your kitchen for the first few minutes after adding aloe.

After mixture has been allowed to cool at least 4 hours, strain mixture and discard solids.  This recipe may make more than you need for your treatment (I got about two treatments out of it), so place mixture in a closed container and refrigerate what you do not use.
In a separate container, mix bentonite powder with marshmallow root powder.  Slowly, while mixing, pour in brahmi tea mixture.  Pour enough to get a soft mushy consistency (bentonite mix should be thick, slippery and soft for easy application, without being runny. See pics below). 
Add 1/2 tspn of honey and mix until treatment is smooth. Apply mixture soon after mixing because it will dry out.

My experience:  The marshmallow root powder I got, was not finely ground and I did not notice until after I had used this mixture for the first time.  The result was bits of straw-looking pieces in my hair after I rinsed.  Very annoying.  So my advice is to either make sure you get one that is finely ground (inspect it) or sift it through a sieve to hopefully get all the bigger pieces out.

I co-washed first (or you can shampoo, its up to you), detangled in the shower and applied the mixture.  The most important thing is to get it on your scalp and roots of your hair - its supposed to be a scalp/skin detoxifier (how it clarifies).  I gently massaged the mix unto my scalp and put on a shower cap because I did not want the mix to dry out on my hair.  All this is done while I am still in the shower. Once I am out of the shower, I leave the mix and my shower cap on for another 5 to 10 minutes and rinse with cool or if you can stand it, cold water - to help close/smooth the hair cuticle.

Remember, clay/mud mixes will dry out.  I recommend wearing a shower cap to prevent this and allow longer conditioning time.  If you choose not to wear a shower cap, rinse as soon as you feel the mixture getting sticky.

My hair felt squeaky clean after I rinsed but to get that slip, I briefly massaged a small amount of my commercial-brand deep conditioner through my strands and rinsed again with cool water.  After applying my homemade moisturizing mix, the result was super-soft hair and a cool-feeling scalp.  Here are some helpful pics:


Brahmi tea


Strain tea and discard solid portion




Pour tea (liquid) into sealable container


Apply tea to bentonite powder mix


Add honey to mixture


Ready to use

I really liked this spin on my bentonite clarifying treatment. I also found that I didn't need  to add oil like I usually do when I use citrus juice, to counter the drying effects of citrus. 
Oh, of note, I did massage my scalp with some oil before my co-wash. I think it was amla oil but I'm sure any oil would do.

The marshmallow root powder probably also had something to do with it because it acts as a humectant to hold moisture so the treatment did not dry out as fast. I'm going to continue using brahmi tea for my bentonite treatments in the next couple months and let you know if I notice unusual growth or reduction in breakage.



Yummy! My Homemade Moisturizing Cream

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...The hold of a gel, the softening qualities of a humectant plus the moisturizing benefits of the most nutrient-packed butters...who knew I could have it all?!
And look how yummy!

I just might market this stuff.

For you mixtresses out there, here are the ingredients:

mango butter
shea butter
kokum butter
glycerin (very little)
gel
a bit of olive oil
fragrance (vanilla)

I make a 4oz amount by mixing about 1/4 cup of melted mango and kokum butters (you must melt separately because their melting points are different and if you melt together you may over-melt the mango butter) with 3 tablespoons melted shea butter (also melted separately). I mix the melted butters together in a blender at high speed, adding a bit of glycerin, olive oil and about a 1/2 cup gel. Once all ingredients are together I remove from blender (while still warm) and begin to mix by hand painstakingly until the mix has cooled (solidified) into a smooth, whipped cream (see pic above).
That's all folks. This stuff works great on my kinky curls, giving both the definition and moisture I need.

Hair and Moisture - How Much Do We Really Understand?

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I can't stress enough the importance of reading your hair.  And this goes, not just for Naturals but for those with all types of hair. Many of us, (and I too have been guilty of this) become so in love with or lazy about our routines we just mechanically keep doing the same things and then wonder weeks later why our hair are still dry or limp, or why our scalps are still flaky.

Moisture OverDose
The other thing, and one of the reasons we should pay attention to our hair, is that it is possible to over-moisturize our hair.  I have read so many crazy suggestions around moisturizing.  One person recommended applying a deep moisturizing conditioner mixed with some other water-based ingredients, and baggying the hair overnight. Every night!
Now if you happen to have hair that is not receptive to water, as in does not seem to absorb water well, this may be ok advice, I don't know.  But if you notice your hair feels limp and super-soft, but maybe too-soft, is brittle and is not holding a curl, then maybe you have been leaving too much water in your hair for too long.

Like I said, we all have different hair with different needs.  Hair's absorption rate for water varies individually but, on average, hair does not  need to be doused in copious amounts water 24-7, I mean we are not mermaids.  (Think of this: Hair and nails share similar properties and needs. What happens to our nails when we have our hands in water for a long period of time ie. that delicious but super-long bath?  )
Sealing in the water moisture when we do apply water is the key.  There are numerous amounts of good sealants provided by oils or butters. Some people say their hair does not like oil.  I am going to dispute this. I have found that to some degree, the hair has to be used to oil.  My hair seemed to hate oil when I first started this journey.  It would just sit on top of my hair.  But I didn't give up.  I just learned what kinds of oils my hair responded favorably to and what kinds of oils it didn't.  For me, I found that thicker oils like castor oil worked well on my kinky curls.  I got creative and started mixing butters (just oils that are solid at room temperature) with thin oils to get that thick-oil consistency my hair loves.  And I stopped applying oils to dry hair - made sure to dampen hair first.  But dousing the hair in water spritz's throughout the day, never giving it a chance to dry?  Well if nothing else, creates a breeding ground for bacteria and a recipe for over-moisturized hair.

Does Your Deep Conditioner Match You?
We love our deep conditioners. We rave about how much our hair adores them - me included.  But do you know what your deep conditioner does for your hair?  Do you know that there are different kinds of deep conditioners?  There are reconstructors/protein conditioners that attempt to restore protein to the hair shaft and there are moisturizing conditioners meant to seal moisture in the hair shaft.  These all, of course, provide only temporary protection for the hair.  Did you also know at different times your hair may need different types of conditioners?
Here is a key:
If your hair feels over-moisturized - very limp, fragile, and super-soft, won't hold a curl or breaks when you touch or gently pull on it, then you probably need a strengthening/reconstructing conditioner, generally a protein treatment.
If your hair feels dry, hard, and brittle, then a moisturizing conditioner is the answer.  Our individual hair types  (I'm not referring to the 1a-4b typing system)  kind of lets us know which type of conditioner we may need as the staple but changes in the hair's behavior (usually responses to stress, diet or your regimen) will also indicate that you may need to switch it up.
For example, protein treatments should pretty much be a must and a staple for relaxed heads because the hair cuticle's integrity is compromised and protein links have been broken and so are impaired.  You will notice after a relaxer, hair is super-soft and may be limp.  To prevent breakage, a protein treatment temporarily restores the protein lost during relaxing - temporarily (which is why you have to keep it up).
Natural heads, unless you have colored or apply heat regularly or genetically have super-fine hair that's prone to breakage, you are generally   in more need of moisturizing treatments because natural hair tends toward dryness.  But this does not mean from time to time, especially if you have a regimen based on almost constant water moisturizing, that your hair will not need a protein treatment to restore its strength. Just remember, all treatments are temporary.  It should also be a sign you need to adjust your regimen and probably reduce how often you wet your hair.

Glycerin is Two-Faced
I have noticed that some Curlies swear by glycerin and its become a staple of mine too.  But some use glycerin undiluted, applying directly to hair. Especially if you live in a hot, or cold, dry environment, this is a recipe for constant hair dryness.  Why?  Glycerin is a self-serving water-absorber.  It works great for our hair because diluted, it actually will pull water out of the air, thereby acting as a humectant for hair. But glycerin does not distinguish where it pulls moisture from.  So undiluted glycerin on hair plus dry air means glycerin will likely make your hair even drier by pulling moisture away from your hair.  A bit of glycerin added to water goes a long way and adding a few drops of oil helps to prevent glycerin from drying out your hair in dry climates.
I hope this post shed some light on some of our most common misconceptions about the products we use. The takeaway: listen to your hair, always. She is telling you what she needs.