Hair and Pregnancy

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I have meant to do a post on this for awhile but alas, the time when you have a young baby - where does it go?! What led me to want to do this post was that I noticed at about three months after baby's birth, alot of hair left in my comb during a comb-out session, usually after a wash. I was puzzled for a minute, until I remember reading about post-partum hair loss.

Ladies, if you have been through it, you know its somewhat disconcerting to see a palm-ful of your glorious hair in - well - your palm. And you may have wondered why you are losing so much hair. And if you are like me, you tried to find out why by researching about it, or maybe you didn't. I just want to let you know, however upsetting it may be - it's perfectly normal. 

Here is a brief breakdown. Your hair as you know has a natural growth, resting and shedding cycle that is determined by genetics. You can't control that. You also can't control how your hair will respond to the hormones in your body. Hormones during pregnancy such as progesterone alters your hair's natural growth, resting and shedding cycle, mostly impacts the shedding cycle and for most women this means, thicker, a more lustrous-looking mane during pregnancy. But try not to get attached. That extra-lustrous mane you have on your head during your nine months is temporary (extra blood vessels and blood during pregnancy also help the luminous-ness of your mane by bringing extra nutrients to the scalp).
After you give birth, hormone levels return to normal and (and so does your blood volume). The result is that your hair also returns to normal. The process of your hair getting back to normal is what you see with the significant hair loss. Since the shedding phase was put on hold during your pregnancy, all the hair that would have otherwise shed, do so post-partum. Hence the comb-ful of hair.

Don't get discouraged if you are just starting out your hair journey or in the early stages like me  (of course it can be equally disheartening when you have five years worth of long natural hair, coming out as well). Its temporary. The hair loss peaks about 3-4 months post-partum and should taper off after that. Just make sure the hair is not breaking, it should be coming out from the root, if it does at all. And keep up your haircare regimen. You are likely doing nothing wrong and its just a natural process. If over 6 months post-partum you are still experiencing alot of shedding, you may want to talk to your doctor as the hair loss should likely have slowed back to your normal amounts by then for most of us.
To help keep my hair healthy during this difficult time, I take a vitamin A supplement in the form of a cod liver oil emulsion.
To all you natural new mommies out there, what do you do to keep your hair healthy post-partum?

How Do You Wash Your Hair?

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Since going natural I have washed my hair the same as when I was relaxed. But it took several recent washes after which I noticed alot of lost hair in the comb-out process for me to realize that different hair texture (and a more tangly one) might have to mean different approach to washing.
I had read where other naturals with much longer hair, credits washing in braids with hair length retention and thought, 'hey, they are obviously doing something right with the hair to show, why not try it?' So I did. And yes definitely I noticed less hair lost in the washing process.
I thought it might be a bit tricky since I usually scrub my scalp and hair with a rubbing motion and didn't want to put tension on the braided strands. So I just made sure I was gentler with the scrubbing especially with the delicate nape, sides and front hair.
So this will be my technique from now on.
Have you thought about your hair-washing technique?
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What is your natural style???

1)  Edgy - You like to wear your hair in styles that are out of ordinary, young, hip and chic.  You think of creative things to do with your hair, the kind of styles that make people do a double take.  Your style is definitely thought out and you are up to date on the latest trends and often make your own. .  i.e.the frohawk


2)  Girly Girl - You love accessories your favorite of which are flowers or bows.  Dresses are your staple, anything with lace or eyelet is a plus.  You like your hair soft with feminine curls and usually forgo the trends for a more classic style




3)  Classy Lady - You are a professional.  You like a more understated look with updos and tucked under styles.  You carry yourself in a way that demands respect and is in line with social norms.  Your look is clean and natural and so is your hair ... always neat and well done.


4)  Wild Child/Diva - You are proud of your fro and you wear it without a care in the world.  Your hair is often messy and big ... and you like it that way and make no apologies.  Trends are not your thing.



5)  Sexy Vixen- Foxy Brown is your hero.  You love sexy big hair with just the right balance of done and undone.  Your personality is just as big as your hair, you like to show your curves but leave a little to the imagination.  You don't shy away from red lipstick or animal prints.  Your accessories are big and overstated... far from girly!

Diary of a Naturalista

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Diary of a Naturalista

 (author not pictured)

I would like to share with you my dating life and the experiences I've had since going natural. Admittedly, when I first considered going natural I was very apprehensive about what it would do to my dating life as a single woman in her late twenties.

I was apprehensive to the point that after months of transitioning, I gave in and relaxed my hair around the time I was supposed to do my "big chop". I was newly single and hadn't considered the prospect of dating with my hair in its natural state. I envisioned myself with my short kinky hair at a complete loss as to how to style it and with my confidence level at an all time low. I imagined men would shun me and I would spend the rest of my foreseeable future hiding in a corner.

Well I immediately regretted relaxing my hair and proceeded to start the transitioning process again and this time I went through with it.

So my first experience with my cropped natural hair:

#1: There was a man at the hospital where I worked who had been crushing on me ever since I'd started working there a couple months before. It was his reaction that would be the moment of truth as to whether I felt like men would find me equally attractive with this new look. I told no one I was chopping my hair. I only appeared one Monday morning with my cropped kinky hair. I had gotten looks and compliments from my white female coworkers but I was apprehensive about how a black man would respond. I was ducking through the halls when I spotted him getting in the elevator. I tried to slip away unnoticed as his elevator door closed when suddenly the door reopened and he stuck his head through suddenly.
"Oh my gosh" he said as the door was closing again.
I kept on walking unsure of what that meant. Minutes later, I got a text, "You look SOOO sexy with short hair!"
*sigh of relief*

#2: The next moment of truth: there was a guy I had gone on a date with during the time I was transitioning. During my transition,I had managed to mask my new growth to where no one could really tell I was transitioning. I was just another girl with relaxed hair. He was clearly attracted to me then and wanted to see me again. Now, I was apprehensive because I looked a lot different. 
He was coming to pick me up at my place and I felt the need to warn him... more for my own good than his. You see, I feared he would have some unexpected knee-jerk reaction that would offend me and scar me for good, making me regret the day I decided to go natural. So I figured if i warned him ahead of time, he could prepare an appropriate response that would not offend me. I texted him, "btw, i cut off my hair and it's now cropped and natural, just so there are no surprises when you see me". His response "why did you do that???"
I didn't respond. He stared at me shamelessly the whole date over lunch which made me uneasy "What if I told you I was only thinking good things?" he he replied when I confronted him about it. I shrugged. He was still interested after that, but unfortunately the attraction was never there on my part. Life went on.

So far I had gotten two black men's responses to my natural hair. But what about other races?

The truth is white men didn't seem to notice any difference. The ones who were attracted to me continued to be attracted to me, the ones who never gave me the time of day still didn't. A few weeks after I had done my big chop, one of the ICU nurses, a white man, asked me out. It was my last day of work. To my knowledge he never called.

#3: My third experience was a date with another black man. His first reaction, "I'm so excited about your hair!!!" as he proceeds to stare. He later says, still staring at my hair, "I dont' know many black women who would leave their houses with their hair like that" ( I was wearing a wash and go). I felt like I should be offended but I was more amused. I knew he meant well. And he did call me after that first date and wanted to see me again. Another sigh of relief.

#4: Another moment of truth. I reunited with an old male friend with whom I had had a long history. Technically he had been my first boyfriend and I guess you could say there had always been something between us. We hadn't seen each other in a year but he texted me and asked before we met, "So... are you wearing your hair natural these days?" (he later admitted he had been cyber-stalking me).
When we did see each other, he told me how great I looked but who knows what he was really thinking? By this time, my hair had grown out some and I wore it in a puff.
Weeks later for the first time since going natural, I got braid extensions because I was going on vacation and didn't want to have to fuss my hair. This friend tells me weeks later "Don't take this the wrong way", I braced myself for it. "I think you look better with long hair. It frames your face beautifully. Besides, natural hair is so much harder to take care of. You have to put a lot of stuff in it to make it wearable"
I avoided getting defensive and gave an insincere thank you to the part about my face. I felt self conscious around him after I took the braids out. I was convinced that he was hating on my natural hair. One time, he proceeds to run his hands through it, seemingly more out of curiosity than adoration and I was very annoyed. Thank goodness my hair was freshly washed and conditioned and feeling soft and touchable. He never commented again on my hair but seems to have accepted it as part of me, as I've made it clar to him that I have no intention of going back.

Then there was another black guy at work who told me I would look good with dreads. Contrary to my childhood friend, this guy was disappointed when I put braids in and told me he likes my real hair better because"it looks more natural". (Well of course it does!)

To sum it up, my theory is this: natural black hair on a woman is so foreign to black men that their reactions range from rejection to curiosity to just plain confusion. But eventually they get it... The ones who are resistant at first come to accept and even admire natural black hair and confidence it takes for a woman to embrace it in a society that idealizes a different kind of hair. Some men never get there however. I've come to accept this and I blame society for hiding real black women behind relaxers and weaves for so long that it's become the norm. For many black men, relaxers and weaves are natural and natural hair is... not.

Do You Dudu(-Osum)?

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I re-stocked my dudu-osum shampoo a few days ago and realized I never shared this find with you! I think I shared quite a few posts back that I do not use commercial shampoos in my hair. When I had a twa, I used only conditioner to wash my hair and as my hair has grown out, I have used a homemade shikakai shampoo (homemade shikakai shampoo recipe here). The only alternative to my homemade recipe is the dudu-osum herbal shampoo. I love it because it does not strip my hair of moisture.

Here are the ingredients:
Pure Honey, Shea Butter, Osum (Camwood), Potassium Palkernelate, Sodium Palm Kernelate, Glycerine, Aloe Vera, Lime Juice, Lemon Juice, Neem Oil, Tea Tree Oil, Water and Fragrance.

My Hair Now

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I think I told you that I had in some protective styles via extensions for awhile. My last look was rope twists and sadly in the process of taking them out, realized I had lost alot of hair at the hairline because the person who put them in did them too tight. I usually insist whoever is putting in extensions not do them tight but this time around was different. I was distracted by the tornado of having a new baby and being a first time mom and, sadly but appropriately, my hair came second to him. I remember the day I had them re-done. I felt the tightness but baby was fussing in my arms and I just wanted to be done so I could tend to him and I thought, "I'll just put some oil on my scalp, it should be fine."
Well learn from my experience Naturalistas, if your scalp feels uncomfortable because of a style you are trying to do, don't push it. Especially at your hairline, the hair is extra sensitive to breakage. For me its lessons learnt and now the biggest downer is knowing the hair at the front hairline, once it grows back in, will not be the same length as the rest of my hair, which was a major goal for me.
Anyway, I applied some of my scalp oils once I took the extensions out. I then detangled in the shower with my co-wash shampoo, then shampooed, then deep conditioned using a mix of my Phyto conditioner and my homemade brahmi-ginseng conditioner. I had alot of growth but as usual, the shrinkage, particularly at the sides and back where my curls are tightest, was out of this world. I spent alot of time detangling and mainly because I had the extensions in so long. I clipped my ends and twisted my hair. Here is the result of the twistouts:
 

Meet Your New Blog Host

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My natural (and real) sister Lisa will be hosting this site with me. She brings a wealth of information abut her experience with going and staying natural and will even post videos of her different styles. She went natural a few months after I did and has a beautiful thick head of hair to show for it. Here is a pic of her afro.

Welcome, Lisa!

I'm Back!

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Hello Fellow Curlies!
I know it has been forever and I bet you thought I'd given up on the blog but I have had a very very busy almost-year. I am now a new mom and so my time has been almost nonexistent.
Also, my hair was in protective styles for much of the past year. I started with kinky twist extensions and then rope twists because I knew with a new baby I would not have time to deal with my hair. I took out the rope twists last week after four months in (yes my hair was a tangled mess) and am now rocking my first twistouts after a very long time.
 I was very happy to see my hair again and excited to resume my blogging on my hair journey. Its now a full-blown afro (goodbye twa!) so I can now play with different styles. Will I have the time to do all that? We will see. Whether I am able to find time to create a cute style or not, I will of course continue to take care of my 'fro in hopes it will get even bigger and fluffier and healthier. So continue on  this journey with me!
Although I have not had time to blog, I have been keeping a photo journal of my hair growth on fotki.com. Here is the link where you can check out pictures to see my hair growth transition: www.fotki.com/demena24

On a side note: Since my blogging time is limited due to the demands of being a new mom, my sis who became a Natural a few months after I did, will be sharing the hosting duties on this blog. Expect posts from her about various topics. Together hopefully we can continue to keep you inspired and excited about your own hair journey!