Jamaica My Love

I am missing Jamaica like crazy.

 I don't know why. It could be hormonal, as I'm preggers. But I just am. I am missing my grandmother too. I was thinking that my number one dream in the entire world is to be able to buy a home in Jamaica and possibly retire there. The older I get, the more I feel an affinity for my place of birth.
I love the US. I am more an American now than of any other nationality. Patois doesn't come as easily to me anymore and although I thought about working in Jamaica, I realize I don't know the business culture of anywhere in the world except the US. But I think after I have accomplished all I can in the working world. Perhaps after I've raised my children (or child), I want to go rest my tired, old bones in the land where I spent the first ten years of my life.
When I go there, there is just something about it, something in the air, something in the faces of the people I see, that lets me know I'm home. And I hope that won't change when I finally realize my dream of buying a home there. Maybe I'm missing my grandmother because I'm embarking on a new journey and I'm kind of scared. I promised my grandmother when I was about to leave her at 10 years old, a list of things I would bring back or buy for her. I'm pretty sure one of them was a new home.
Sadly, I don't think she'll be around when I finally manage to make it happen. Maybe I'll name it 'The Rose' in honor of her. I plan on giving my first child the middle name 'Rose' in honor of her as well. The more I think about her the more I miss her. I should call her more. But its hard because she can barely hear me now and sometimes she seems off in her own world. She used to tell the craziest, funniest stories. She used to play hide and seek with me. When it was storming outside, she, my sister and I would curl up in bed and talk.
I can't tell you how many memories I have.